My Ambit Secrets – The Ten Communications Qualities – Part 4

My Ambit Secrets – The Fourth Communication Quality – Using the Correct Amount of Assertiveness

Today I continue with my Ambit secrets series on the 10 Communication Qualities.  The topic for today is using the correct amount of assertiveness.  This is the Fourth communication quality from our Ambit Pro Inviter Series.

In the second call module of the  Ambit Pro Inviter Series, I train on the importance of balancing the amount of assertiveness you use when speaking with prospects.  If you are doing something that causes your prospect to pull away from you, you are being too assertive. 

One of my Ambit secrets my Coach taught me on assertiveness is – having the right amount of assertiveness really means that you have charisma.  The Merriam-Webster Learner’s Dictionary defines “charisma” as: a special charm or appeal that causes people to feel attracted and excited by someone. 

Imagine, if you will, that you are on the top of a ladder and your prospect is on a rung below you.  Your goal, of course, is to get your prospect to move up the ladder until they have joined you at the top.  Your interaction with the prospect will either pull the prospect up the ladder toward you, or push the prospect down the ladder away from you.  In these instances, it’s not what you say to the prospect, it is how your charisma comes across when you say it. 

One of my Ambit secrets I share on how to know if you are pushing the prospect away or pulling them in is to watch facial expressions.  To do this, you have to balance showing a genuine interest in the prospect while examining the person’s facial reactions.  It’s almost as though you have to have a “Third Eye” which is like having a video camera on top of your head that is watching for the reactions to what you are saying to the prospect. 

This “Third Eye” will let you know exactly where your prospect is on the ladder.  If the prospect is fully interested, then they are at or near the top.  If the prospect is not interested at all, they are at the bottom of the ladder.

As an example, if you are meeting with your prospect in a restaurant and the prospect starts looking around, you may be speaking too loudly.  Your “Third Eye” might suggest that the prospect is looking around to see who else is hearing your conversation.  You are being too assertive in this instance and pushing the prospect down the ladder away from you.  You would know that you need to speak in a quieter tone. 

In our Ambit Pro Inviter Series, I share some great examples about how educating a prospect versus making a prospect feel wrong is the way to go.  The correct amount of assertiveness educates and shares the concept or idea without making the prospect feel that they are getting a lecture or did something wrong.  The goal is to let the prospect come to the conclusion based upon the education. 

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