How to Talk to Strangers

Today, my colleague, Rachel, discusses some strategies for picking up the phone or approaching a stranger at a networking event or even the grocery store.

How do you typically start a conversation with a stranger?

Rachel: It depends on the situation, but usually I’ll observe something in the environment we’re in and make a comment about it. This is a skill that many dating coaches teach men when they want to start a conversation with an attractive woman.

Let me tell you a story to illustrate how this works. Remember, I’m a naturally shy person. But this was really easy.

I walked up to a woman at Starbucks and asked her if the seat was taken. She smiled and said, “No.” Then, I said, “It’s very busy in here today. Is it always this busy?”  

She answered my question, then a conversation ensued. We talked for over 45 minutes and the majority of the conversation was me asking observational questions and her answering.

When she got up to leave, she asked me what I did for a living, asked me for my card (which I couldn’t give her because I don’t carry business cards), and then she smiled and said how much she enjoyed our conversation. I took her card, and if I were still recruiting, you can bet I’d be calling her in a day or two.

What actions do you personally recommend for a “fearful of strangers” Consultant? 

Rachel: Here are my five tips for moving past the fear of talking to strangers: 

1. Start conversations every day. Make conversation every day without the goal of prospecting someone.
2. Give three sincere compliments a day. This will help you get in the mindset of “What can I do for others?”
3. Stop over thinking everything. Don’t think about the results. Just think about your actions. Think about the very next step in front of you and take it.
4. Don’t think negative thoughts. Don’t let your mind turn to a disaster call or the idea of a prospect laughing at you. Just think about picking up the phone and dialing.
5. Drill before you make calls. Practice what you’ll say. Do some drills with your sponsor so you’ll know what to say. Then, do it. Pick up the phone with your shaking hand and make the call.

Do you think people need to be able to talk to strangers to be successful in this business? 

With today’s technology, it is possible to sit behind your computer, never talk to a soul, and sponsor people.  

However, if you’d like to avoid terrible attrition and be a team builder, then you have to be able to talk to people. You have to invite people to look at your service or opportunity. You need to train your team.

If you can do three things, you can be successful in this business. Those three things are: 

1. Communicate effectively.
2. Believe in yourself and your business.
3. Care about others and help them to get what they want.

Your Turn

What’s your best strategy for talking to strangers? Tell us about it in the comments below.